Good advice READ THE LINK ABOVE to read all the good ones that you can't read here.
2. I still want to have fun with you, and feel like home is safe and happy. Smile at me.
4. Sometimes I'm going to be moody and annoyed and frustrated. You need to just let that happen (though you shouldn't let me be rude to you; that's weird and embarrassing). It might just be a mood or something might be going on that I'm not ready to talk about yet. If you hang around doing stuff near me and don't interrupt or try to solve it as soon as I start, I might feel comfortable talking with you about things.
6. It feels really good when you ask me to teach you about what I'm learning or what I'm good at. You don't have to be awesome at computer programming to let me teach you some cool stuff, for instance. I have to be a beginner constantly. Show me it's OK to stay relaxed and present when you are struggling to learn something.
8. If you don't like my friends, it feels like you don't trust my judgment or like I am stupid about choosing friends. Or both. Ask me what I like about them, or what we have fun doing together, or just to tell you about a new friend. Stay open-minded. Still, if you think my friends are being bad to me, I need you on my side that much more.
10. I will fight you every step of the way if you make me do stuff I don't want to do (get some exercise, do my homework, write a thank-you note, practice piano, apologize to my sister, take a shower, wear deodorant... so many things), but you should probably make me do them anyway. I know I will feel better if I sweat and shower each day, and develop my study skills, and show up tomorrow prepared, and, and, and. I know! But please don't overwhelm me. I might not be able to do what I should right away. I might need reminders, later, which will annoy me completely. Remind me anyway.
12. I need to have private jokes with my friends and not explain them to you. It's how we bond. You don't need to be involved in every aspect of my life to still be loved and needed by me.
14. Especially if I've been feeling stressed, maybe you could just hang out with me. Go to the park or get an ice cream or have a catch, whatever; it feels good to just do something together without discussing or solving or teaching anything.
And bonus extra important thing you should know: The fact that my opinions on this and anything else might change tomorrow does not mean I don't feel them fiercely today.
Keep up. I love you. Remind me you still love me, too.
Check out the rest of Rachel Vale's "15 Things Your Middle School Kid Wishes You Knew"
Rachel Vale's book "Unfriended"
by Rachel Vail · Penguin Group (USA) Incorporated · Hardback · 288 pages · ISBN 0670013072
In middle school, nothing is more important than friendship. When Truly
is invited to sit at the Popular Table with the group she has dreamed
of joining, she can hardly believe her luck. Everyone seems so nice, so
kind to one another. But all is not as it seems with her new friends,
and soon she's caught in a maelstrom of lies, misunderstandings,
accusations and counter-accusations, all happening very publicly in the
relentless, hyperconnected social media world from which there is no
escape. Six eighth-graders, four girls and two boys, struggle to
understand and process their fractured glimples into one another's lives
as they find new ways to disconnect, but also to connect, in Rachel
Vail's richest and most searching book.
Good advice
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