Friday, May 22, 2009

Letters to the Editor: Night Visitors

Four-legged animals . . . Night Visitors
A couple of weeks ago I heard my neighbor’s dog making a fuss. Normally I ignore it because she barks at falling leaves with the same urgency as murderous villains. I opened the door to confront the intruder only to see an armadillo looking at me as if waiting for a polite introduction. Nixing that, I ran to get my camera. For in this diverse melting pot that is Riverside, armadillos are not one of the cultures normally represented.
A few nights later, a possum showed up. Possums, I have encountered before. The first meeting was not pleasant for either of us. I opened the garage door, and I was greeted by a loud hiss and a foaming mouth. If you have ever been witness to the reaction of a 12-year-old girl who has just met her favorite music idol, you can relate to the scream I let out. A "braver than I" animal control officer came and removed the possum from my garage. Probably stopped it from stealing my car.
The other night was different. Unable to sleep, I looked out the window to watch an approaching storm. Instead, my eyes focused on the four-legged object walking on my lawn. At first, I thought it was the fattest dog I had ever seen. Looking again, I saw I was wrong.
It was a pig. Yes, a pig. Teats hanging to the ground, a snout instead of a nose, pig. When did my house become Green Acres? Was I about to find Eva Gabor making hot cakes in my kitchen?
I’m waiting on my next visitor to show up. I hope it’s a cow. I like cows.
— Bill Gentry, Fort Worth

. . . and the two-legged kind
A fox is caught in a henhouse with a chicken in its mouth. Just before the farmer shoots the fox he says, "I was just taking the chicken out for some exercise." The farmer says, "Oh, OK," and walks away while the fox gobbles down the chicken.
President Obama, who I feel is otherwise doing a great job, had the foxes in for a talk and they said, "Oh, we’ll try to cut costs by 1.5 percent per year (when the current increase is 6 percent a year) but please, don’t make us put it writing." Farmer Obama promised us healthcare reform, not empty rhetoric from the insurance executives. We need options that will permit us to choose the kind of healthcare we will get, be it what we have now, Medicare+ Advantage, or the same coverage that Congress has and we need. What we don’t need are self-serving heads of insurance companies making empty promises.
— Beverly Kurtin, Hurst

A couple of Letters to the Editor from the Star Telegram

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