OK. I am old enough to have grandchildren... email this week had stories about things grandchildren say....

Grandparents:
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup . After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, thelittle one said, 'But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet papergood-bye!' I will probably never put lipstick on again withoutthinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me HappyBirthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.' Mygrandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, 'Did you startat 1?'
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changedinto old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, herpatience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head andstormed into their room, putting them back to bed with sternwarnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with trembling voice; 'Who was THAT?'
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her ownchildhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond I had aswing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. Werode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods' The littlegirl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd got to know you sooner!'
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do youknow how you and God are alike?' I mentally polished my halo and Isaid, 'No, how are we alike?'' You're both old,' he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather'sword processor. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's itabout?' he asked. 'I don't know,' she replied.. 'I can't read.
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet,so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask whatcolour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was funfor me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying,'Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!'
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we keptthe lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting peskyinsects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing thembefore I did, Billy whispered, 'It's no use Grandpa. Now themosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.'
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,I'm not sure.' 'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised,'mine says I'm 4 to 6.'
10. A second grader came home from school and said to hergrandmother, 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babiestoday.' The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keepher cool. 'That's interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?'It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,'said a teacher. The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down theladder pregnant.' The teacher took the lad aside to correct him.'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said theyoung boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their homeone day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seatof the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children starteddiscussing the dog's duties. "'They use him to keep crowds back,'said one child. 'No,' said another. 'He's just for good luck.' Athird child brought the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,'she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants.'
13. A 6-YEAR-OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED.''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER,WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE WITH HER, WE TAKE HER BACKTO THE AIRPORT. '
14. GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOODTHINGS, BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!